Ex- England skipper Lewis Moody has revealed he has been found to have motor neurone disease and stated he cannot yet confront the full consequences of the muscle-wasting condition that ended the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old, who was part of the 2003 Rugby World Cup-winning side and secured multiple English and European titles with Leicester, gave an interview to BBC Breakfast two weeks after learning he has the illness.
"There's a certain confronting what lies ahead and hesitating to fully comprehend that at the present time," he said.
"It's not that I fail to comprehend where it's progressing. We comprehend that. But there is absolutely a reluctance to face what's ahead for now."
Moody, speaking alongside his wife Annie, explains conversely he feels "peaceful" as he directs his attention to his immediate welfare, his family and making preparations for when the illness progresses.
"Maybe that's shock or maybe I deal with matters differently, and after I have the details, it's easier," he continued.
Early Indications
Moody learned he had MND after detecting some reduced power in his shoulder area while training in the gym.
After physiotherapy didn't help the problem, a series of scans showed nerves in his neurological system had been compromised by MND.
"You receive this diagnosis of MND and we're understandably quite moved about it, but it's so strange because I feel like nothing's wrong," he remarked.
"I don't experience unwell. I don't sense sick
"My indications are quite slight. I have some muscle wasting in the hand area and the shoulder.
"I continue to be capable of performing whatever I want. And hopefully that will carry on for as long as is possible."
Illness Development
MND can develop swiftly.
As per the non-profit MND Association, the condition claims a one-third of people within a 365 days and over half within 730 days of identification, as swallowing and breathing become harder.
Treatment can only retard deterioration.
"It isn't ever me that I am upset for," added an affected Moody.
"There's grief around having to inform my mum - as an sole offspring - and the consequences that has for her."
Household Effect
Conversing from the family home with his wife and their pet dog by his side, Moody was overcome with feeling when he spoke about breaking the news to his sons - 17-year Dylan and 15-year Ethan - the heartbreaking news, saying: "That represented the toughest thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two brilliant boys and that was rather heartbreaking," Moody said.
"We sat on the sofa in weeping, Ethan and Dylan both embraced in each other, then the dog bounded over and commenced cleaning the drops off our faces, which was somewhat amusing."
Moody stated the priority was remaining in the moment.
"There exists no solution and that is why you have to be extremely militantly directed on just accepting and savoring everything now," he said.
"According to Annie, we've been truly fortunate that the only real determination I made when I concluded playing was to spend as much time with the kids as possible. We don't get those years back."
Sportsman Connection
Elite competitors are disproportionately impacted by MND, with investigations suggesting the rate of the disease is up to 600% greater than in the wider community.
It is thought that by restricting the O2 accessible and creating injury to nerve cells, frequent, intense exercise can trigger the illness in those previously predisposed.
Rugby Professional Life
Moody, who gained 71 England selections and toured with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was called 'Mad Dog' during his playing career, in honour of his brave, relentless style to the game.
He competed through a fracture of his leg for a period with Leicester and once caused a practice altercation with colleague and friend Martin Johnson when, frustrated, he abandoned a tackle pad and started engaging in collisions.
After entering as a replacement in the Rugby World Cup decisive match win over Australia in 2003, he claimed a ball at the end of the line-out in the decisive passage of play, setting a platform for playmaker Matt Dawson to attack and Jonny Wilkinson to kick the victory-securing field goal.
Assistance Network
Moody has previously notified Johnson, who captained England to that championship, and a few other former colleagues about his diagnosis, but the others will be discovering his news with the remainder of public.
"There shall be a time when we'll need to lean on their support but, at the minute, just having that sort of care and acknowledgment that people are there is all that matters," he stated.
"The sport is such a great group.
"I told to the kids the other day, I've had an amazing life.
"Even should it concluded now, I've valued all of it and welcomed all of it and got to do it with remarkable people.
"When you have the opportunity to label your enthusiasm your career, it's one of the greatest privileges.
"Having accomplished it for so long a time with the teams that I did it with was a delight. And I understand they will desire to help in whatever way they can and I await having those talks."
